Thank You Very Sweet

On Friday May 28th 2010 I went on a silent retreat to a Monastery with my Soul Friend Jessie. We were ritualizing a transition in our friendship, she was preparing to move to upstate New York and I was very sad about her going.

My Soul Friend and Me then…

…and now

There were about 8 people on this retreat, including her spiritual director, Deanna.

At lunch time I remember sitting silently with others and looking at a pink rose floating in a small bowl of water on the center of the table.

I was trying to figure out if the rose was real or not, but I wasn’t allowed to talk.  I just looked at it, and I noticed small droplets of water resting on it’s petals. It looked like the rose was crying.  I decided that the tears were what made it real..  

That afternoon, Jessie’s spiritual director sat with me privately and we talked. I told her about all of my uncertainty and she told me: “I hear God telling you to ask: how will LOVE carry you through?”…

The following week I found Kesner Dead.

………………………………………………………………………………….

How has LOVE carried me through? LOVE comforted me, carried me, cried with me and made me chicken salad. When all was lost and nothing mattered, LOVE remained patient and present with me.

LOVE sent for me and sent me flowers. LOVE worked out with me, counseled me, and gave me encouragement. LOVE tolerated my mood swings and took me to lunch. LOVE paid for my dinner, reunited broken friendships, and sat with me at horseshoe lake. LOVE sang with me on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, and sang to me on the grounds of the Country House.  LOVE was big enough to handle my anger, and pain, and moments of disbelief.  LOVE was strong and gentle enough to carry me through.

And as if that isnt enough, LOVE gave me a new song to sing, a story to tell, a testimony to write  –  LOVE gave me THIS VENUE, this blog to share.  And LOVE brought you here to read it.

This is what Deanna meant when she squeezed her cross and closed her eyes and heard LOVE say “ASK HER HOW I WILL CARRY HER THROUGH.”  This was the profound way:

God is LOVE and LOVE can do anything but fail – and LOVE will never put more on you than you can bear…

LOVE has manifested LOVE’s self in countless ways during this journey and now I am almost finished with my story – there is just a little bit more to tell.

But I’m  good. I’m So very very good…    because LOVE has carried me through!

© Copyright Thank You Very Sweet, 2012